


Thine To Teach

by BillieShears, Ravenclawsome



Category: Nothing Much to Do
Genre: F/M, Future Fic, Teacher AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-04
Updated: 2015-09-04
Packaged: 2018-04-18 22:05:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,001
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4722104
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BillieShears/pseuds/BillieShears, https://archiveofourown.org/users/Ravenclawsome/pseuds/Ravenclawsome
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“Hold on,” Aaron interrupted, raising his hand from the back of the class. “Mr. H, why does your daughter have anything to do with Ms. Duke?”</p><p>Most of the class turned to look at him like they couldn’t tell if he was serious, but a few people seemed just as confused as he was. Benedick, on the other hand, looked like Christmas had come early.</p><p>“Excellent question, Aaron,” he said, walking over to him and taking a seat on an empty desk. “Fun fact about Ms. Duke: she is married to me.”</p>
            </blockquote>





	Thine To Teach

“You all look like zombies on Monday mornings,” Benedick observed, frowning as a parade of bleary-eyed students trudged into the classroom, “don’t any of you  _sleep_ over the weekend?”

“Weekends are for cramming in all the fun stuff you don’t get to do during the week,” Chris corrected, shaking his head, “no time to sleep.”

“I’m just saying,  _I’m_ the one who has a six month old hellspawn at home who cries at all hours of the night and day,” He said, crossing in front of the room and leaning on his desk, “and yet I always manage to show up for class bright-eyed and bushy-tailed.”

“Did you just call your daughter a  _hellspawn_?” Angela asked, wide-eyed. “That’s harsh, Mr. H.”

“Look, I love my daughter. I would give me life for her if the situation called for it. She’s my offspring. The fruit of my loins.” That earned several groans, eye rolls, and  _‘ew!’s_  from his students. “But until she can go a full night without crying, you cannot prove to me that she isn’t actually an agent sent from the very depths of hell to torment my loving wife and I.”

“Is that why Ms. Duke showed a movie in science today?” One of the girls asked. Benedick whipped around, a look of complete shock on his face.

“She did  _not_ ,” he said, shaking his head in disbelief. “She was just talking about how lazy that was. _Literally_ yesterday, she said that to me. Thank you for this precious and irreplaceable information, Claire.”

“No problem,” Claire yawned, rubbing sleep from her eyes.

“Hold on,” Aaron interrupted, raising his hand from the back of the class. “Mr. H, why does your daughter have anything to do with Ms. Duke?”

Most of the class turned to look at him like they couldn’t tell if he was serious, but a few people seemed just as confused as he was. Benedick, on the other hand, looked like Christmas had come early.

“ _Excellent_ question, Aaron,” he said, walking over to him and taking a seat on an empty desk. “Fun fact about Ms. Duke: she is married to me.”

Aaron’s jaw dropped. A girl on the other side of the room let the pencil slip out of her hand. Everyone else started giggling.

“She…  _she_  is your wife? The one you’re always talking about?” Aaron said, still in shock.

“Well I only have the one, wonderful student,” Benedick said cheerily.

“But she’s so…” Miranda began, “so  _scary_.”

“Isn’t she?” Benedick looked dreamily over at the family photos tacked up on his bulletin board. “Honestly, there are about a hundred pictures of her over there guys. I’m surprised more of you don’t pick up on this.”

“Duh,” Caroline said, “they always leave in the same car, haven’t you noticed?”

“Uh, no, Caroline,” Aaron snickered, “‘cause I don’t obsess over Mr. Hobbes like you do.”

“I do not obsess!” Caroline’s whole face turned red, “I’m just observant!”

“You know what?” Ben interrupted, “We’re settling this now. Caroline, do me a favor and go and get Ms. Duke in here, will you?”

“Really?” She grinned, already out of her seat, “okay!”

“I kind of ship you two,” Ben stage-whispered to Aaron once Caroline had gone.

“Ugh,” Aaron mumbled, slinking down in his chair.

They heard Beatrice before they saw her, and Ben brightened immediately at the sound of her voice.

“- don’t see what was so important he had to send you to come get me.” She trailed after Caroline into the room, already frowning. “This better be good. You’re interrupting my free period.”

“Ah, Ms. Duke! Welcome to history class!” He beamed. “Can you do everyone here a favor and confirm for them that we are, in fact, married?”

Bea regarded him, her face neutral save for the smallest of smirks tugging at her lips.

“Sorry,” she said, “do I know you? I mean, I think I’ve seen you around the teacher’s lounge, but it _is_  a big school…”

“Your denial is useless,” Ben warned, gesturing to his bulletin board, “I’ve got family photos to back me up.”

Bea crossed the room and leaned in to examine the pictures. She turned back to the classroom, arms folded across her chest.

“I can’t believe you’d photoshop yourself into my pictures just for a prank,” she accused, “that’s a little extreme, don’t you think?”

“Really,” Benedick grinned. “We’re going there? You’re telling me that this adorable baby is  _not_ our daughter?” He gestured towards a framed photo on his desk.

“I have never seen that child in my entire life,” Beatrice said, shaking her head.

“If we’re not married, who packed your lunch this morning?” Benedick countered.

“I did!”

“Oh come on, you  _know_ it’s my week to do lunches.”

“Try all you want Mr. H, you’re not going to convince these students that you’re my husband,” Beatrice said, looking around at the class. “You don’t believe him, do you?”

The class was watching this back and forth with rapt attention. The students who hadn’t realized the two were a couple seemed even more confused than before.

“Okay, how’s this?” Benedick held up his left hand, gesturing pointedly at his ring finger. “If we’re not married, why would I have one of these?”

“What are you talking about?” Beatrice asked innocently, holding up her left hand. There was no ring on it.

Benedick actually gasped, taking a step back from her.

“TOO FAR, LOVE,” he said, dramatically. “ _Too far._ ” Bea laughed, which caused a few students to exchange startled looks.  

“Calm down, drama queen,” she said, slipping the ring back on her finger. “You’re ridiculous.”

“Oh sure, I’M ridiculous,” Benedick crossed his arms. “See guys? I told you.  _Married_.”

“Yeah, speaking of class,  _you_ should probably get back to it,” Beatrice grinned, walking forward and kissing him on the cheek. Some of the students looked weirded out, but others were practically tipping forward on their desks. “You’re clearly wasting a lot of time.”

“This from the woman who showed a movie in class today.”

Beatrice stopped dead on her way out the door, turning back to face him slowly.

“How did you…” but her gaze came to rest on one of the students. “Claire,  _come on._ ”

Claire just shrugged halfheartedly.

“What movie was it?” Ben demanded, “Tell me it was at least  _mildly_ educational.”

Bea mumbled something under her breath.

“Didn’t quite catch that, dearest,” He said, clearly delighting in every moment of his wife’s torment, “If you don’t want to tell me, I can always just ask Claire.”

“ _Hercules_ ,” Bea grumbled, “It was  _Hercules_ , okay? What can I say, I’ve been a sucker for Disney since we had the baby.”

“Amazing,” Ben said happily, “truly amazing. Just to be clear, what did you say was your opinion on teachers who show movies in class?”

“I’m leaving,” she declared, throwing up her hands, “I’m out. Claire, you’re dead to me. Everyone else, have a good class.”

“See you later, Megara,” Ben teased. Bea was halfway out the door, but she immediately spun on her heel, coming back fully into the classroom.

“If you’re implying that  _you_ are Hercules in this situation, you’re completely wrong. You’re Hades. You’ve essentially trapped me through a very sneaky contract.”

“Uh, Mr. Hobbes?” Derek raised his hand, “are we gonna get our tests back, or…” he trailed off.

“You heard the boy, Ms. Duke,” Ben said, “get out of here. I can’t believe you’d disrupt my class like this. I’m trying to mold minds here, unlike  _certain_ lazy teachers who shall remain nameless.”

Bea rolled her eyes.

“Have fun with your mind molding,” She said, “ _I’m_ going to finish my movie.” She waved, slipping back out into the hall.

“There you go, guys,” Benedick smiled, watching her go. “Love of my life. Mother of my child.”

“You guys are so cute,” Lily sighed.

“I still can’t believe it,” Aaron shook his head. “Ms. Duke and you are  _married_? My brain doesn’t work that way.”

“Oh believe me, I’m ASTONISHED she’s stuck around,” Benedick smirked, rifling through the papers in his bag. “You guys want to guess how long we’ve been together?” There were a few murmurs from the class. “Anyone who gets it right can have a point extra credit on the test.”

Immediately, everyone sat up a little straighter.

“Well, you’ve got a baby,” Caroline said, thinking hard. “So maybe seven years?”

“Gotta be less than that, Care,” Aaron said. “Five years.”

“Why less than seven?”

“I feel like they’d explode if they were around each other for longer than that.”

“You’re both wrong,” Benedick beamed, sorting out the tests on his desk. “Anyone else?”

“How old are you, Mr. H?” Claire asked.

“Old enough to drink, teach a high school class, and have a baby,” he said. Claire groaned.

“Helpful.”

“Sixteen years!” Matt guessed wildly.

“Woah, not quite!” Benedick said. “But I appreciate the enthusiasm. Anyone else?”

The class was silent except for Aaron and Caroline, who were still arguing in the corner.

“He’s twenty nine, I know because I saw his birthday card two months ago.”

“Or you were stalking him on facebook.”

“I was  _not._ ”

“Everyone give up? Okay,” Benedick flipped through the test sheets absentmindedly and set a few aside. “Eleven years.” There were several  _oohs_  and  _woahs_ from the class.

“Eleven?” Matt asked, “I was joking when I said sixteen!”

Caroline was counting on her fingers, looking appalled.

“Mr H, were you two high school sweethearts?” she asked, disbelievingly.

“ _Technically_ , yes,” he said, making a face. “But let’s not call it that. Definitely don’t let Ms. Duke hear you call it that.”

“What’s wrong with high school sweethearts?” Lily demanded.

“Nothing, if you don’t value your life,” He shrugged, “but trust me on this one - a friend referred to us as ‘high school sweethearts’ once and I think she shouted so loud she broke the sound barrier.”

“Um, about those tests?” Derek inquired hesitantly.

“Don’t worry, Derek, you did fine,” Ben assured him, “But first we need  to take a minute to truly appreciate some of these incredible puns you guys have churned out for me. As you all know, if you don’t have the answer to a question, you have the opportunity to submit a pun for partial credit. Obviously it has to relate to the question at hand. So let’s see what we’ve got!”

“This is totally unfair for those of us who aren’t good at coming up with puns,” Angela complained.

“I’m pushing you to think outside the box,” Ben argued, “I’m doing my part to nurture creativity. The school board should be thanking me for this, honestly.”

“I like Ms. Duke’s extra credit options better,” Zach said. “Last time I got a bad grade on a test, she let me write a rap about the periodic table and she bumped me up a whole letter grade.”

“Once I didn’t know the answer so I drew a cat in a labcoat and she gave me the two points anyway,” Lily added. “She even laughed.”

“She did  _not_ ,” Claire narrowed her eyes, “she never laughs! She’s stone-cold.”

“Okay, so she smirked,” Lily amended, “but with her, that’s  _practically_ laughing.”

“Stop trying to imply my wife is cooler than me,” Ben said, frowning, “I’m the coolest teacher at this school, and I refuse to be stripped of my title. Now, about those puns…”

“Mine was really good,” Caroline whispered, leaning forward and setting her chin on her hands.

“Are you implying that you  _didn’t_ know the answer to a question?” Aaron asked, clutching his chest in shock.

“Maybe I just had a really good pun,” she grinned. “You don’t know me.”

“Okay, here we go!” Benedick held up one of the tests, dramatically. “Question 10,  _What was the name of the bird that New Zealand soldiers awaiting return home created on a hillside?_ Lily, you said ‘ _Russell Crow_.’”

The whole class cracked up. Lily waved at them like a queen, smiling broadly.

“You know it was a kiwi that they drew, not a crow, right?” Angela asked, poking her in the arm.

“Yeah Angie, but  _Russell Kiwi_  isn’t a person.”

“On the wall it goes!” Benedick announced, snipping the answer out of Lily’s test and taping it to the wall, where several similar strips of paper already lived. “Next answer. On question 8,  _Who led the NZEF during World War I,_ Aaron said  _The Warlord of the Rings_.”

The class giggled again.

“Weak,” Caroline scoffed, “I’ve seen you do better.”

“I knew the answers to all the other questions!”

“Mine’s gonna blow yours out of the water. Just saying.”

“Well, that won’t matter if I get a better grade.”

“Okay guys, reel it in,” Benedick grinned, glancing between the pair. “Last but certainly not least, on question 12,  _What battle did the NZF participate in on France’s stalemated western front_ , Caroline said… drumroll please…”

The students started drumming their hands on their desks, with only minimal sighs of annoyance.

“ _The FIGHT of the Conchords,_ ” Benedick announced, holding a stone face for all of two seconds before leaning his head down on his desk, laughing. The class followed suit, and Caroline beamed around the room as people offered her high fives.

“I’ll give you this one, Care,” Aaron said. “But you’re going down next time.”

“Don’t get too big a head, Aaron,” Lily shouted across the room. “I’m gonna have the most puns on the wall by the year’s end, you’ll see.”

“Dream on.”

“Look,” Benedick said, finally lifting his head up from his desk, “as much as I appreciate the enthusiasm for puns, I feel like you guys are missing the point. The actual test is probably a bit more important than the prestige that comes from being the room’s official pun master.”

“Not the way you talk about it,” came a deadpan voice from the doorway.

“Beatrice!” Benedick said, spinning to face her in delight. “What brings you back to the educational department?”

“That’s Ms. Duke during school hours,” She corrected, “and I just got a call from the daycare. Guess who projectile-vomited all over Miss Tanya and needs to be picked up as soon as humanly possible?”

“Ah, the perils of parenthood,” Ben turned to the class and sighed dramatically, “a parent’s work is never done!”

“So you’ll handle it, right?” Beatrice asked, still leaning against the doorframe.

“Me? You’re the one who’s showing movies in class today! I’m doing actual educating.”

“Are you kidding?” Bea scoffed, “I’ve spent most of this period in this very classroom, and I have to say, I don’t think I’ve seen one single bit of educating. At least  _Hercules_ promotes strong female role models.”

“As important as that is, it doesn’t teach them anything about science,” He countered, “at least the puns my students make relate to the curriculum.”

“You know what? Let’s let them decide.” She turned to the classroom expectantly. “Mr. Hobbes and I will turn around and close our eyes, and - let’s see - Matt, you’re in charge of this. Everyone’s going to vote for who they think should pick up the baby, and who should stay and teach.”

“Excellent idea, love,” Ben grinned, coming up beside her. “Very diplomatic of you.” They both turned their backs to the class.

“Okay, so whoever thinks Ms. Duke should pick up the hellspawn -”

“Hey!” Bea snapped, whirling around, “that’s only okay when we say it.”

“Sorry!” Matt said quickly, wide-eyed and white as a sheet, “sorry, sorry - uh, whoever thinks Ms. Duke should pick up their daughter, raise your hand.” Bea narrowed her eyes at him, but turned away from the class.

“Okay,” Matt said, counting the raised hands, “and now whoever thinks Mr. H should go, raise your hands.”

“Alright, let’s hear it,” Ben grinned, he and Bea facing the class again, “although, let’s be honest, I think we all know who they’d rather have class with.”

“Oh, please,” Bea rolled her eyes, “don’t flatter yourself.”

“Actually…” Matt bit his lip. He looked like he wanted to run from the room. “Mr. Hobbes won by two votes. Which I guess… means you’re the one who has to pick up the baby…”

“Ha-HA!” Benedick pumped his fist, triumphant, “I  _knew_ they liked me best.”

“Oh, just because you’ve got your little  _fangirls_ ,” Bea grumbled, crossing her arms. Several of the girls blushed, suddenly very interested in their textbooks.

“Think of it this way,” Aaron said, “at least this way you can probably nap or something, right?” Bea stared at him.

“Bold move,” Caroline whispered. Aaron swatted at her.

“You know what?” Bea said, after a pause, “you’re right, Aaron. I get to nap and cuddle with my _adorable_ baby, and Mr. Hobbes here is stuck doing work. We’ll probably watch more Disney movies. Maybe I’ll even dress her up in that dinosaur onesie my cousin got her.”

“What?! You’re going to put her in that onesie  _without_ me?” Ben practically pouted. “That’s when she’s at prime adorable-ness! I can’t resist that onesie! You’ll at least text me pictures, right?”

“Sorry, no can do,” Bea shrugged helplessly, “You’re going to be super busy educating and mind-molding, I couldn’t possibly distract you like that. We’ll just be hanging out at home, in super cute onesies. Maybe she’ll even say her first word…”

“No way, she’s  _way_ too young for that. No way she’s going to start talking anytime soon,” Ben scoffed, but he was beginning to look doubtful. “Although… she  _is_ really smart. Basically a genius.”

“Yeah, she’s pretty much the smartest baby on earth, so it’s super likely,” Bea said casually. “Anyways, we’ll just see you when you get home. Have a good day, everyone!”

She sauntered confidently out of the room, leaving them to it. The class remained silent for a moment as Ben eyed the door.

“You’re going to call in a substitute, aren’t you?”

“Two extra points on the test for being particularly astute, Miranda,” Ben confirmed, nodding solemnly, “that’s  _exactly_ what I’m going to do.” 

**Author's Note:**

> hey hey! did you enjoy this fic? do you desperately wish for more teacher au in your life? were you thinking ‘gosh, this was fun, but i wish it was longer and featured slowburn pedrazar’? 
> 
> WELL DO WE HAVE NEWS FOR YOU! you should check out “A Year Better Spent” by our good friends over at thepedrazarcollective!
> 
> happy reading :)


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